Around this day each year, I always feel a little tinge of sadness as it is when I would have been celebrating another year of my mum’s life. This past year has been so very hard that weirdly this anniversary has felt as sad as it normally has. Maybe after almost 20 years the sadness has lessened. I’m thinking of my mum and the small moments of happiness we had most of the days she was alive – her distinctive smell sinks me into those memories of happier times. We used to eat crackers and pate whilst on bus journeys and go a long way on our bus passes. Perhaps that is why I do enjoy a long bus journey because I was so used to it from when I was a kid. I still have her coat because it still smells of her. For some reason, I can’t let it go even though I tell myself I should get rid of it but it stays in the drawer so I can smell it and get the scent of her again even after all this time.