It’s art, darling

I’ve been out of the blog-cycle for a while now as we’ve been so busy with lots of things but I’ve been doing some artwork. I won’t say I’m going to be the next Tracy Emin (urgh) but it is something I’ve discovered through being part of a group called Pandora’s Other Box after being invited by my friend Tracie. I really didn’t think I could do art but the group has been meeting regularly since February and I started to feel that I could do something but I wasn’t sure what. Our focus was Maya Angelou’s poem, Still I rise, and I was starting to wonder what would rise up.

My first piece was quite angry – I had a few issues to work through about loss that I felt but after a while something was starting to happen.

It was only after I attended Tracie’s two day collage workshop that I started to realise I wanted to do something Chinese. My Chinese heritage has been well-hidden throughout my life. I talk about it a little as an adult but don’t encompass it. It took a real step of faith to come out of my comfort zone and do something red but I loved it.

It was only a chance conversation with one of the other Pandora’s who suggested that I should do something Chinese for my exhibition piece that got me thinking. The other thing fell into place during our holiday in London. I was in love with some dolls house rooms that were made for an exhibition for the V&A Museum of Childhood. It was there that it came together for me.

I started to obsessively collect Chinese pictures and artefacts and draw Chinese buildings but I was blocked and couldn’t start. I had planned two pieces but one was hard enough to start. In the middle of all of this, I was diagnosed as dyspraxic and dyslexic and that was very hard to come to terms with as it explained many of my problems with attention and focus. It was only when I went to visit my old school with my friend and her family and then went to the hospital where my mum died that I was able to start, able to start thinking of positive things about my mum’s life and revisiting her place of death with the happy family of my friend. It was lovely and I am sad and glad to be finished. I’ll keep drawing and making and who knows what will come next. This was a deeply personal piece and I don’t know when I’ll feel ready for another but it has been an amazing process and I am glad I was asked to take part.